But wait. You are 70 years old. You’re sitting in your home. Your grandchildren ask you what your 20s were like, and you honestly can’t tell them. You have no heirlooms; Temu doesn’t last. You never moved to Paris or quit the toxic job or booked the Spanish lesson. You were too nervous to get that tattoo, never went back to school. You were too awkward to go to the nude drawing class, you never did learn how to make dumplings. Your feed was so full of people living lives so full you never stopped to consider yours.

The great love affair of your life is… this. Sitting in the dark, your nose 6 inches from the screen. You have never separated, never taken a break. It started slowly, rockily. But by 25, it had its claws in you. By 30, it fills the dead spaces in your life. And you’ve never relented. It has consumed you wholly and the math has compounded. By this age, at 7 hours a day, 15 years of your life has been a screen.

TIL that the hieroglyphic hobo code probably wasn’t used as extensively as the internet suggests. However, hobos and tramps did tag bridges, water towers, and train cars with tramp writing, which usually consisted of their moniker (i.e. their hobo name), the date, and the direction they were heading in.

Hobos, or tramps, were itinerant workers and wanderers who illegally hopped freight cars on the newly expanding railroad in the United States in the late 19th century. They used graffiti, also known as tramp writing, as a messaging system to tell their fellow travelers where they were and where they were going. Hobos would carve or draw their road persona, or moniker, on stationary objects near railroad tracks, like water towers and bridges.

More on hobo graffiti from CityLab.

Traces of hobo graffiti from the early 20th century have become almost totally obliterated, destroyed by natural forces, torn down along with old buildings, or painted over with new graffiti. So when anthropologist Susan Phillips came across a rare one scribbled underneath a bridge near the Los Angeles River, she knew it was a remarkable discovery.

(via open culture)

To celebrate the 250th anniversary of our great nation, The Onion has produced a Ken Burns-esque film called Birth of a Nation (“the only movie ever named this”).

250 years ago, a group of illiterate men would gather in these hallowed halls to scribble down what historians can now only assume were words. Words that would one day be assigned meaning. Words and pictures. Pictures mostly. That would serve as the founding principles for a grand new experiment that would forever change the course of human history. An experiment that would produce a monstrosity so powerful it would soon be known to the whole world by just one name. America.

You can try it out by sharing something worthwhile you’ve seen, heard, or learned recently. Feedback and bug reports welcome!!

A graphic of a floppy disk hamburger was created on an early Amiga computer, photographed, and then deleted (more specifically, it couldn’t be saved). Stuart Brown set out to recreate this image as accurately as possible, including colors, dimensions, etc. This is deliciously nerdy. Here’s the resulting image (with some horizontal padding I added):

(via unsung)

For the latest episode of Howtown, Adam Cole and Joss Fong look at wildfires and how investigators go about determining and proving how they start. The backdrop of video is the investigation into the Palisades Fire and the related arson trial that just concluded.

What started the Palisades Fire, and why did the LA arson trial fall apart? This Howtown episode investigates the deadly Pacific Palisades wildfire, the smaller New Year’s Eve Lachman Fire, and the federal arson case against Jonathan Rinderknecht. Prosecutors argued that the Lachman Fire became a hidden holdover fire, smoldering in roots and dense vegetation before reigniting during Santa Ana winds and becoming the catastrophic Palisades Fire. We examine how ATF fire investigators determine fire origin and cause using wildfire forensics, burn patterns, fire behavior, wind direction, topography, fuel, surveillance camera footage, ALERTCalifornia cameras, cell phone location data, ignition source testing, and lab experiments.

The episode also looks at competing theories in the Palisades Fire investigation, including fireworks, cigarette ignition, open flame, accidental fire, intentional arson, smoldering roots, and reignition. At trial, prosecutors pointed to Rinderknecht’s location, behavior, searches, messages, 911 calls, and alleged motive, while the defense argued there was no direct evidence, no smoking gun, no recovered ignition source, and serious uncertainty in the wildfire investigation. The LA arson trial ended with a deadlocked jury, a mistrial, and a 10–2 split, raising questions about reasonable doubt, negative corpus, forensic science, ATF methods, LAFD response, the Skull Rock trailhead, the Lachman Fire origin, and why proving wildfire arson is so difficult after the evidence has burned away.

Idris Elba, knight of the realm and forever Avon Barksdale’s right-hand man in my heart, has been a DJ since he was 14 years old. He recently DJed a house party for Black House Radio and it looks like everyone had a lot of fun.

You can also find this mix on Soundcloud, along with many more of Elba’s mixes.

Bumblebee, honey bee, yellow jacket, paper wasp…what’s the difference? I don’t know if this comprehensive guide to Yellow Stripey Things is entirely truthful or not — a bumblebee is “actually a flying panda” and a yellow jacket “is just an asshole” — but it is pretty entertaining. Has anyone fact-checked this thing?

Ok fine, I’ll do it!¹

Carpenter bees are mostly harmless:

Male carpenter bees are quite aggressive, often hovering in front of people who are around the nests. The males are quite harmless, however, since they lack stingers. Female carpenter bees can inflict a painful sting but seldom will unless they are handled or molested.

Honey bees don’t always sting just once:

A honey bee that is away from the hive foraging for nectar or pollen will rarely sting, except when stepped on or roughly handled. Honey bees will actively seek out and sting when they perceive the hive to be threatened, often being alerted to this by the release of attack pheromones (below).

Although it is widely believed that a worker honey bee can sting only once, this is a partial misconception: although the stinger is in fact barbed so that it lodges in the victim’s skin, tearing loose from the bee’s abdomen and leading to its death in minutes, this only happens if the skin of the victim is sufficiently thick, such as a mammal’s.

Bumblebees:

Queen and worker bumblebees can sting. Unlike in honeybees, a bumblebee’s sting lacks barbs, so the bee can sting repeatedly without injuring itself; by the same token, the sting is not left in the wound. Bumblebee species are not normally aggressive, but may sting in defence of their nest, or if harmed.

And yes, you can actually pet a bumblebee:

Hoverflies don’t sting. But paper wasps do and their sting can be deadly:

Unlike yellowjackets and hornets, which can be very aggressive, polistine paper wasps will generally only attack if they themselves or their nest are threatened. Since their territoriality can lead to attacks on people, and because their stings are quite painful and can produce a potentially fatal anaphylactic reaction in some individuals, nests in human-inhabited areas may present an unacceptable hazard

I couldn’t find a good all-in-one source about yellow jackets, but by all accounts, they are aggressive and easily agitated.

The cicada killer wasp look fierce but are generally only dangerous to cicadas:

Solitary wasps (such as the eastern cicada killer) are very different in their behavior from the social wasps such as hornets, yellowjackets, and paper wasps. Cicada killer females use their sting to paralyze their prey (cicadas) rather than to defend their nests; unlike most social wasps and bees, they do not attempt to sting unless handled roughly.

Mud daubers don’t sting people that often and prey on spiders:

Black and yellow mud daubers primarily prey on relatively small, colorful spiders, such as crab spiders (and related groups), orb weavers and some jumping spiders. They usually find them in and around vegetation. Blue mud daubers are the main predator of the black and brown widow spiders.

All in all, this checks out.

Bonus stinging insect fact: There’s a sting pain index that entomologist Justin Schmidt first came up with in the 80s. Schmidt has been stung by almost everything with a stinger and rated the stings on a scale of 1 to 4 (least to most painful). He has also described the stings of individual insects more colorfully:

Western honey bee (level 2) — “Burning, corrosive, but you can handle it. A flaming match head lands on your arm and is quenched first with lye then with sulfuric acid.”

Giant paper wasp (level 3) — “There are gods, and they do throw thunderbolts. Poseidon has rammed his trident into your breast.”

1. I saw this great quote from Lily Tomlin today: “I always wondered why somebody doesn’t do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.” No idea if she actually said that. I’ll let you track that one down…I’m busy with the bees.↩

…adjectives in English absolutely have to be in this order: opinion-size-age-shape-colour-origin-material-purpose Noun. So you can have a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife. But if you mess with that word order in the slightest you’ll sound like a maniac. It’s an odd thing that every English speaker uses that list, but almost none of us could write it out.

The Cambridge Dictionary lists a slightly different order: opinion, size, physical quality, shape, age, colour, origin, material, type, purpose. A poem by Alexandra Teague explores the topic in a creative way:

That summer, she had a student who was obsessed
with the order of adjectives. A soldier in the South
Vietnamese army, he had been taken prisoner when

Saigon fell. He wanted to know why the order
could not be altered. The sweltering city streets shook
with rockets and helicopters. The city sweltering

streets.

Did anyone learn this in school? I sure didn’t. How do we all know then? My daughter’s kindergarten teacher had a great phrase she used when things got a bit tricky as her students learned to read: “the English language is a rascal”. (via @MattAndersonBBC)

Update: Language Log’s post on adjective order is worth reading. (thx, stephen & margaret)

On this recent Thursday in June, their hopes are pinned on Phyllis Wimer, known as Phyllis Killer or Phyllis the GOAT for the many strikes she bowls; Charlene “the Grasshopper” Giles, whose hop gives her some extra oomph as she releases the ball; “Marvelous” Marcia Ness, who describes herself as a “tough old broad,” ready to bowl after recovering from a broken wrist and back; and “Rollin’” Ron Demaree, who grips the lower-left handlebar on his motorized wheelchair to propel himself upward and forward for more power in his roll.

Phyllis the GOAT is 95 years old and rolls 300s in practice sessions like it’s nothing. Here’s a local news segment on the team from a few months ago:

I was very into Wii Sports 20 years ago (!!!) and still occasionally play Switch Sports with the kids (golf, bowling, and tennis mostly). They’re great party/gathering games and evidently also great for staying active and sharp in your 90s.

On Friday, I got a bee in my bonnet that this t-shirt should exist and so I made it and now you can buy it. The shirt is simple, straightforward, $25 (+s&h), and ships all over the world.

A promotion. Making a new friend. Or the big cork-popping event; you know the one. Today could be the day!

Maybe it’ll even happen before the shirt reaches your mailbox! We should be so lucky.

Thanks to Dan Cederholm at SimpleBits for his Free Lunch font and to Fourthwall for handling the shopping, printing, and fulfillment.

Oh, and I also zhuzhed up the Goods page, where you can still get the Hypertext, Process, and Choppke’s tees. More fine not-hypertext products to come soon.

Speaking of DJ Shadow, his 2-hour Essential Mix that aired in early July is really hitting the spot right now.

Good god, The Complete Kubrick from Criterion.

Collected here for the first time are Kubrick’s thirteen features and three shorts, all restored in 4K, with their original soundtracks alongside the 5.1 mixes, restored and remastered; over twenty-five hours of interviews, documentaries, and behind-the-scenes materials; and deluxe packaging illustrated with rare photographs, artwork, and documents annotated by Kubrick himself, all housed in a singular box inspired by the director’s legendary archive.

Altogether it’s 30 discs, $480 if you pre-order, and it’ll be out in mid-October.

P.S. While it’s not a fancypants box set, the KDO tag page for Stanley Kubrick functions pretty well as “DVD extras” — and it’s free. (via df)